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crushed11

Newbie

Posts: 2
Registered: 08-22-2011
Location:

posted on 08-22-2011 at 18:39

New to all this.....

Hi Everybody,
I am new here and have a long and intense history.
I graduated from nursing school in 2007. I had a party for myself and 2 other grads at my house and had a friend my husband worked with cater the party. I had many friends ask me what was the deal between her and my husband. I was oblivious. After graduation, I took a job working 12hr nights. After a few months, I noticed a change. One night my daughter tried to look at her dad's cell phone and he snatched it from her. Well, I decided to look and found text messages from this woman that he worked with. The same woman that had catered my party.
He said he was confused. Then within a few days he said he had ended it and wanted to be with me. That was in 2008. Well during the next couple of years we had some bullying problems and depression problems with our daughter. She died by suicide on 4-14-2010. I was devastated. She was our only child. My husband did not want any more children and I had a hysterectomy.
After her death, we have had ups and downs as you would expect. He worked with this woman and continued a "friendship" with her. He lied to me multiple times regarding where he was.
I had been working from home for almost a year and lost my job on 7/25. My husband decided he was not happy and did not love me any longer on 7/29 and walked out. He wants me to be civil but he has yet to get a separation agreement. He originally agreed to pay all of the bills and give me $800 a month for my expenses. He has now changed up and only gave me $250 for expenses. His parents have financed his departure.
I am expected to live in the house full of memories and go through all of our stuff to decide what needs to be sold and trashed. I feel as if I continue to be his doormat. Unfortunately, without a job or any savings, I am stuck.
i am sorry for venting like this, I just don't know what to do. I feel betrayed, hurt, destroyed and lost.
Any suggestions on how to move forward??

crushed11

Newbie

Posts: 2
Registered: 08-22-2011
Location:

posted on 08-22-2011 at 18:46

addition....

I would also like to say....
We had been going to marriage as well as personal counseling.
He told me in the last marriage counseling appointment that he loved me and was in love with me. After he walked out, we had a final counseling appt. He admitted at that time that he had lied in the last counseling appt. He said he "needed time". Since that time he has moved to "he is not happy with me".
I think he is a functional alcoholic with some depressive factors. I guess he will have to hit rock bottom before he realizes what he had and what he needs.

FinanceGuy

Newbie

Posts: 4
Registered: 09-30-2011
Location:

posted on 09-30-2011 at 15:35

independent

I've written this before. You need to find a job, earn some money, save every penny and then make a decision thats not based on money. Jobs may be hard to find, but there are jobs out there. Most people say there aren't jobs because a job is "beneath them". You can get a job as a waitress or greeter at WalMart, just start earning money, get out there and things can start to happen for you.

Money is not the ends, its the means.

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