I just signed on to this forum. Been divorced since 2007, and have dated. I seem to have the initial euphoria from guys: they want/like a strong woman, but yet eventually cannot handle it (I am a successful PhD chemist and I am passionate about my life and career).
I have recently started seeing a widower, whom I really like. Really like. He is almost 2 years out, and has three boys (9, 11, 14). That is fine with me (I have no children). He was initially very euphoric (as was I), now he states he wants to "take it slow" and I am fearful this means no more dating. He is a true conservative Christian gentleman who asked me to be his girlfriend, and I deserve nothing less.
I need to understand how to communicate with a widower. His wedding anniversary is this week, his boys are back from camp, he is stressed, and I am trying to not add to that stress.
I hope this forum is made up of reasonable people with genuine thoughts/experiences/and ideas so we may help one another.
I greatly appreciate your time and comments. Thanks.
It seems like a stressful situation but you can definitely help to make it less stressful for him if you just take things slow, his anniverary and his kids coming home is a very temporary thing but your relationship with him is long-term. Let the short term things pass, then approach him regarding your relationship, that would be my advice good luck!
Thank you for your input. I am not sure if I am making things more challenging or not, but I just sent him an email expressing my interest in being an ear/presence if he needs an "adult" around - being a single father with three boys must be stressful! I was very honest that if this is overstepping boundaries, to let me know. I have no problem taking things slow, I just need to know his definition of slow versus mine! Ugh.....my stomach is in knots.
I think that's a good way to approach the situation. It's important to show him that you are there for him if he needs you, whether he needs you during a good time or bad. Also, you're not being too pushy or anything like you mentioned, you are just offering an ear and a shoulder. Once things calm down, he will have the time to dedicate to you and your relationship
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