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Savard888

Newbie

Posts: 2
Registered: 06-29-2011
Location:

posted on 06-29-2011 at 07:32

Wife wants a divorce after 11 years and 4 kids. Where do I even start?

MY wife and I met a bit over 11 years ago. We met online actually. We got married a year and a half after we met and had our first kid shortly before we got married. MY wife used to be little bigger than the average woman. I loved her no matter what. I've always got jealous of her going out with friends and guy friends and leaving me at home to watch our 1st kid. About 3 years into our marriage she had a gastric bypass surgery and lost over 150 lbs in a 6 month time. She looked great. then she started going out more often and ended up cheating on me. Lied to me about it at first and said she was out with her sisters. Shortly after she told me what she had done, she wanted to seperate.(while still living together) In my eyes and ears, I took it as she wanted to date other people. And that she did, we were seperated for about 8 months but still living together, her going out just about 1 night every weekend. I would go out the other night every weekend. Needless to say since we've been married besides myself, she has had sex with 4 other men. And that's just intercourse. I have heard from other people she has done other things too also.
We ended up getting back together and going to marriage counceling which I think was a joke. The guy was an idiot. We had our 2nd child about 2 years after the seperation. After our other 2 kids were born, I started suespecting her of messing around again. and it caused a lot of tension, arguments and fights between the both of us. She ended up cheating on me with a cousin of mine in my own house. I found out about 2 months after it happened. 2 years later I found her talking to a guy supposedly she went to school with who was also married on his 2nd marriage and she had gone outr with him and lied to me about it saying it was girlfriends from work. I found out about this 2 ways. I got a huge cell phone bill and checked into it and seen over 6000 minutes talking to this guy on the phone at work and a lot of the itmes I was at work or out running errands. This guys wife had called me to let me know about other times they hung out and she still lied to me then too saying she was with friends or sisters. She has confessed and told me it was true. WHY is it a year later (now into 11 years of being together and almost 10 years of being married) she is pushing for a divorce and I'm finding it so hard to go through with it?

I've had many girlfriends and she was my first love. We live together and have talked about divorce and are both agreeing to it but It's really hurting me knowing that I'm not going to be married to her anymore. Why am I holding onto our relationship when I already know it's been over for a long time? I still love her more than I could ever explain but I know it's the best thing for the both of us and our 4 kids. Please help!

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chargerx

Junior Member

Posts: 11
Registered: 03-14-2011
Location:

posted on 07-03-2011 at 12:57

yeah

Sorry man she has checked out of this marriage a long time ago. It hurts like hell trust me I've been there. I know you still love her and probably will always have feelings toward her. But she is disrespecting you and your children so it sounds like the best thing is divorce. No amount of counseling will help if someone simply does not want to be with you. Sounds like you've been pretty patient and understanding with her but she is just having her cake and eating it too; doing whatever the hell she wants and she knows you will always be there for back-up. Get out man. As hard as it will be to do that paperwork it's what's best for your sanity and also your children's well-being. They don't need to be subjected to that nonsense. You're not alone I promise you will come out stronger and better but you gotta drop this woman or this will continue forever. It's going to be hard for you to believe but there is a better woman in this world for you....just gotta find her.

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s2weathers

Newbie

Posts: 4
Registered: 07-13-2011
Location: Wichita ks

posted on 07-13-2011 at 20:08

same boat

I know what you are going through, my wife couldn't let go of her BF while we where trying to work it out either. Kids are involved and I hurt for her because I love her so much. I dont know what to do. But I know what you are feeling. It sucks so bad to be strong for the kids too. It just wears on us physically and emotionally. Again sorry for what's happened to you but want you to know there is somebody else who is going through what you are...Me.

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bbake516

Newbie

Posts: 2
Registered: 08-12-2011
Location:

posted on 08-12-2011 at 21:27

Me too

'I know what you are going through, my wife couldn't let go of her BF while we where trying to work it out either. Kids are involved and I hurt for her because I love her so much. I dont know what to do. But I know what you are feeling. It sucks so bad to be strong for the kids too. It just wears on us physically and emotionally. Again sorry for what's happened to you but want you to know there is somebody else who is going through what you are...Me.'

My wife has also just told me on Monday she wants a divorce. I am torn up beyond belief and don't even know what day it is anymore. I can't eat I can't sleep but drinking seems to be doing ok so far. We have 2 boys 5 and 12. She always told me that she needs time to "just get away" and I respected that. Anytime she wants to go out with her friends she can. I am about the easiest person to get along with there is. But now she says that she is no longer in love with me because we didn't spend enough time on ourselves dating. I am very protective of my kids and she wanted me to let people I didn't know watch them. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them.

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