slapjack
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 12-12-2011 Location:
|
|
posted on 12-13-2011 at 03:20 |
|
|
| |
Marrying an Indonesian Woman
I married an Indonesian woman. We have been married for over 10 years and she is a wonderful wife.
I worked for many years in Indonesia, and I met my wife there. I didn't do the 'mail order' type stuff-- Internet dating or going through a matchmaker to find her.
I know a lot of couples with an American man married to an Indonesian woman. It seems to work out well. In general, Indonesian women think it important to take care of the home and family, including the husband. It depends on the wife you get. If you get a rich girl, she may have grown up having a maid wash her clothes and clean the house. My wife wasn't rich and watched the family shop in middle school. She is extremely diligent. She also loves to cook all kinds of cuisine.
Indonesians typically like to have a child the first year of marriage. My wife and I intentionally waited a year before we started trying.
Some of the Christian groups in Indonesia are very anti-divorce. So if you are divorced, you may not want to try to find an Indonesian Christian woman. Muslims don't seem to mind as much as their religion is a lot more open to divorce and remarriage.
In Indonesia, you aren't engaged unless you meet the future in-laws and get approval. Lots of people in their 20's won't marry if their parents don't approve. I got the feeling the lady from the government who did up our wedding license wouldn't have approved if my wife's parents had not consented.
Indonesia was colonized by the Dutch. I think that may be behind the inferiority complex that a lot of Indonesians seem to have about their countries when compared to developed countries. For a lot of Indonesian women, marrying western men is a kind of high class thing to do. Now, they also think that western men are rich.
If you go to Indonesia, and you are Caucasian, you will be considered a rich high class person. Some young women are very eager to marry a western man. You may have to make sure that their concerns are not merely financial, but my guess is even in greedy girls, there is more to the desire to marry a foreigner than just greed.
In general, it seems to me that Indonesians make great wives. Most Indonesian women have an idea in their minds that they should submit to their husbands. Islam teaches it. Christianity teaches it. I don't know about Bali Hindus. That's not to say that there aren't Indonesian women who will yell at their husbands, chew them out, etc. Women are women no matter where you go, but it is good that in their culture, the idea of women submitting to their husbands, pleasing them, and being good homemakers are some of the cultural values.
Looks wise, Indonesians look to me like Philippinos. Philippinos themselves often mistake my wife and other Indonesians for Philippinos. For me personally, comparing women from your average large university campus in the US, where there are a lot of young fit women, to the woman on a university campus in Indonesia, I would probably find more women attractive on a US campus. But Indonesia has some very exotic looking beauties. I am sure I would have found my beautiful wife on a US campus full of students back then.
When I lived in Indonesia, I knew a number of women who had met their western husbands through Internet dating. They went to Internet cafes, got on the webcam, and talked to the Internet boyfriends, and eventually ended up in the US with their new husbands.
|
|
|
|
