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			| CarolyneL 
 Newbie   Posts: 3 
			Registered: 03-20-2010 Location: Burlington ON
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					| posted on 03-20-2010 at 12:42 |     |  |  
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				| German Pensions 
 Foreign pensions require the help of lawyers with very special skills in this area. Has anyone had success with acquiring a portion of spouse's foreign pension? You may find you need legal representation both sides of the ocean. It has taken me 13 years so far, due to bad legal advice.
 
 I have prepared a "Divorce List" if anyone is interested. You can read it and other consumer education articles at the web site.
 
 Getting Divorced? - a list of a 50 questions you need to consider
 (and - Should you Sell the house? or Buy out your Spouse?)
 
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			| CarolyneL 
 Newbie   Posts: 3 
			Registered: 03-20-2010 Location: Burlington ON
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					| posted on 03-20-2010 at 12:53 |     |  |  
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				| The Divorce List 
 First time posting - don't know why the link to the article did not appear, but let's try again - if this doesn't work - the articles are on the web site at slash divorce dot html.
 
 http://www.carolyne.com/divorce.html
 
 [img:"http://www.carolyne.com/divorce.html"].
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			| XO_stepdad 
 Member       Posts: 28 
			Registered: 01-06-2010 Location: 
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					| posted on 03-23-2010 at 09:27 |     |  |  
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				| more advice 
 Hi, good advice and a good link, sorry to hear that your situation has been ongoing for so long. Great list of 50 things, didn't think about a lot of them
 
 I read this in one of the articles posted on this website:
 
 "Start by asking yourself how you might have added to the problems in your marriage. It is rare that someone is 100% responsible for a divorce; on the contrary, most divorces are a product of the actions and reactions of both spouses involved. Although you might not want to believe it, you were probably responsible for many of the problems in your marriage. At this point, however, do not think of these negative actions as problems. Instead, think of them as guidelines for the future. If you realize that you generally overreacted to stressful situations in your marriage, you will be able to focus on that. This way, you will have a greater chance of growing and avoiding the same mistakes in future relationships. This process will also keep your mind away from the past and on the future.
 
 "Next, ask yourself if you do a good job of accepting people for who they are instead of having expectations of who they should be. It is easy, especially when involved in a relationship, to have unrealistic expectations of the other person. No matter the reason, we often put unnecessary pressure on our partners to live up to some expectation. When we become comfortable with someone over time, we feel even more willing to express our expectations and criticisms. For your future relationships, practice being more accepting of people you don't necessarily like. Make attempts to find the positive traits of the people around you and be aware of the fact that nobody is perfect. Consider yourself and your own flaws. Even if you don't talk about them out loud, you know they are there. Everybody has these flaws, whether they are obvious or not, and everyone tries their best to correct them. By acknowledging that everyone has flaws of some kind, you will be more willing to accept the reality of a relationship instead of commenting on what your expectations of it are."
 
 The rest of the article is here:
 http://www.1st-divorce.com/divorce/cope-with-divorce.html
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			| CarolyneL 
 Newbie   Posts: 3 
			Registered: 03-20-2010 Location: Burlington ON
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					| posted on 03-23-2010 at 09:42 |     |  |  
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				| German Pensions 
 Thank you for your reply, StepDad
 
 You would need to understand that my spouse was diagnosed by the forensic science department of the then Clarke Institute in Toronto, as a sociopath, a psychopath and a fully functioning pedophile. He raped at least three children.
 
 When I was made aware of this situation, my near thirty-year marriage had to come to an abrupt end.
 
 I had no knowledge of his extracurricular activities. When I questioned the Clarke staff member who shared this information with me, I was informed that these people are master manipulators and that I was one lucky woman that nothing "had happened to me."
 
 So I bring this discussion to an end. Thank you again. The public needs to know these things, in order to keep their children safe.
 
 Kind regards.
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