Divorce

Your comprehensive resource for Divorce.
 Upcoming Events
 Dating News

Upcoming FREE Dating Seminars

To Be Determined

 Divorce Topics  

Child Support
Coping Strategies
Child Custody
Dating Again
Deciding To
Legal Issues
Money
Separation Before Divorce
Stepfamilies
Children of Divorce

 Divorce Articles  

Addiction
After Divorce
Annulment
Child Support
Computer Addiction
Cope with Divorce
Costs of Divorce
Divorce and Children
Divorce Mistakes
Divorce Overseas
Domestic Abuse
Foreign Divorce
Help Kids with Divorce
Legal Separation
Marital Affairs
Marriage Problems
No Child Support
Sexless Marriage
Single Parents
Step Families
Tell Kids about Divorce
Types of Divorce
Visitation Rights

 Divorce Law  

Alabama Divorce Laws
Alaska Divorce Laws
Arizona Divorce Laws
Arkansas Divorce Laws
California Divorce Laws
Colorado Divorce Laws
Connecticut Divorce Laws
Delaware Divorce Laws
Florida Divorce Laws
Georgia Divorce Laws
Hawaii Divorce Laws
Idaho Divorce Laws
Illinois Divorce Laws
Indiana Divorce Laws
Iowa Divorce Laws
Kansas Divorce Laws
Kentucky Divorce Laws
Louisiana Divorce Laws
Maine Divorce Laws
Maryland Divorce Laws
Massachusetts Divorce Laws
Michigan Divorce Laws
Minnesota Divorce Laws
Mississippi Divorce Laws
Missouri Divorce Laws
Montana Divorce Laws
Nebraska Divorce Laws
Nevada Divorce Laws
New Hampshire Divorce Laws
New Jersey Divorce Laws
New Mexico Divorce Laws
New York Divorce Laws
North Carolina Divorce Laws
North Dakota Divorce Laws
Ohio Divorce Laws
Oklahoma Divorce Laws
Oregon Divorce Laws
Pennsylvania Divorce Laws
Rhode Island Divorce Laws
South Carolina Divorce Laws
South Dakota Divorce Laws
Tenessee Divorce Laws
Texas Divorce Laws
Utah Divorce Laws
Vermont Divorce Laws
Virginia Divorce Laws
Washington Divorce Laws
West Virginia Divorce Laws
Wisconsin Divorce Laws
Wyoming Divorce Laws

 



 Welcome to 1st Divorce!

Printable Version | Send to Friend
Subscribe | Add to Favorites
Author: jaidynskiss Subject: Why does it feel like a roller coaster!
92852
Newbie


Posts: 1
Registered: 10-07-2011
Location:

posted on 10-07-2011 at 10:06 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Why does it feel like a roller coaster!

Never thought of joining a forum, let alone looking at other forums wondering...does anyone care...but this is worth a try.

Where to start...my day was just as normal as any other, I took my kids to their game and he showed up and wanted to talk after. When we got a chance to talk, he hit me with divorce papers. I went into shock, then in denial, and I was an emotional wreck. Didn't file a response until 3 weeks later...that's how long!
Now 2 months have passed and I can't help but feel 2 different ways. One I wanna fight, and make this the most painful decision he ever had to go through. He smiles in my face as if I'm ok with it. I'm not! Then I have another side that just says...divorce his behind and let him do what he does best...disappear. The kids are used to it, I'm used to it. But I can't have you running back and forth into my life...it is confusing me.
Never thought I would feel scornful but in this stage, I have found I am a fighter that'll make him regret what he has done but another side I feel that I should leave him alone, I think he has found someone he feels he can confide in so this divorce thing to him is just closure so he can continue this new found life he has. Do I be nice and give him what he wants or do I fight, do I listen to him and his lawyer or do I find my own...if he felt his would be easy...why get a lawyer?
I really don't know how to feel. I throw myself into work and my kids to keep me heavily sedated in their world so I don't think of this but out of no where...I realize and recognize thru time...he moved all his items out and personal items too...only to leave a basket of clothing and the misc items men leave most in the garage.
I told myself, nothing he does will affect me but the things he does do that affect our children kill me and then comes the scornful part. I look at him differently as if he an act on a stage. I get so enraged that I lock it up...I start working again and trying things to occupy my mind to stop thinking like a scornful woman. I do not like feeling like this, I'm a fighter but a knowledgable one to know that strength requires power but not just physical power. I read, I write, I work, I work out, I keep busy in any matter I can but the roller coaster returns...once I have a pause in time...that 30 seconds of quiet in the storm of it all starts to feel like hours and I remember....I remember....he filed for divorce. I wanna get off this ride...it's starting to make me sick.
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By 92852 (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
SpartyLion
Newbie


Posts: 3
Registered: 12-17-2011
Location:

posted on 12-17-2011 at 15:18 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Stay Tough

I understand your ride because mine is the same where I have been up and down. Some days I am strong and think maybe her leaving me is what is best and other days I want her back and will do anything to convince her I am the one she wants.
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By SpartyLion (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
jaidynskiss
Junior Member


Posts: 10
Registered: 08-17-2011
Location:

posted on 12-21-2011 at 12:55 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Deal with the pain

I hate to say it, but it sounds like you are overwhelming yourself in daily life activities so that you can try and forget the pain. This is not a good approach in dealing with the situation at hand. Remember, you are your most valuable asset. You are your kids most valuable asset. Of course, you have to be strong for the kids and continue with life, but you also need to find ways to deal with and ease the pain now so that you can really start living your life again.

Don't try and erase the pain, it will be there until its dealt with and mended. Talk about your insecurities with friends and family, you will see that people do care. You are not alone, you have resources.

Also, don't fight him, it sounds like his mind is made up. Go ahead and go through the divorce, and if you can afford it, hire a lawyer. A lawyer of your own can give you concrete legal advise that his lawyer most likely will not give you due to not being paid by you. A lawyer of your own will also stand beside you and give you straight answers about things that his lawyer may be elaborating a little too much on. His lawyer has the potential to take advantage of you, don't let that happen.

Here is a website that has a ton of information regarding laws on divorce, blogs and information written by a lawyer. http://virginiadivorceattorney.com

Also, I wrote about my experience in divorce that may help you.
http://virginiamilitarydivorce.blogspot.com
View User's Profile E-Mail User User's Site View All Replies By jaidynskiss (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
Printable Version | Send to Friend
Subscribe | Add to Favorites


Processed in 1.135 seconds, 10 queries

Divorce reserves the right to block, delete, or edit any and all posts. The Moderator has sole discretion on the content of this site. Anyone who posts accepts these terms, and waives any and all rights to bring any legal action against Divorce. If you disapprove of any of the above, do not use, read, or post in Divorce
498

 User Functions  
Username:

Password:

Don't have an account yet? Sign up as a New User
User Control Panel

 Forum Posts  

Order: New Views Posts
Latest Forum Posts

 Divorce Lawyers  

Alabama Lawyers
Alaska Lawyers
Arizona Lawyers
Arkansas Lawyers
California Lawyers
Colorado Lawyers
Connecticut Lawyers
Delaware Lawyers
Florida Lawyers
Georgia Lawyers
Hawaii Lawyers
Idaho Lawyers
Illinois Lawyers
Indiana Lawyers
Iowa Lawyers
Kansas Lawyers
Kentucky Lawyers
Louisianna Lawyers
Maine Lawyers
Maryland Lawyers
Massachusetts Lawyers
Michigan Lawyers
Minnesota Lawyers
Mississippi Lawyers
Missouri Lawyers
Montana Lawyers
Nebraska Lawyers
Nevada Lawyers
New Hampshire Lawyers
New Jersey Lawyers
New Mexico Lawyers
New York Lawyers
North Carolina Lawyers
North Dakota Lawyers
Ohio Lawyers
Oklahoma Lawyers
Oregon Lawyers
Pennsylvania Lawyers
Rhode Island Lawyers
South Carolina Lawyers
South Dakota Lawyers
Tennessee Lawyers
Texas Lawyers
Utah Lawyers
Vermont Lawyers
Virginia Lawyers
Washington Lawyers
West Virginia Lawyers
Wisconsin Lawyers

 Women's Profiles  





#498